Madness

I woke up in the middle of the night with the most brilliant poem in my head. It was simple, strong, beautifully structured.. the kind that had the potential to be lifted off my blog and made into a music video, which would instantly shoot up to Top 10 hits of all times. In the world.
Sadly the words refuse to come to me anymore.. but the gist is pretty much Fuck You All I REfuse To Get Sucked In. More elegantly put- not gentle, but with sophistication. I wanted to dedicate it to Ro, her capability for strong emotions and fluid expression totally awes me.
But then in the middle of the night. Anger went, tiredness came, and got sleep along with it. It's a shame my masterpiece got buried in the depths of my unconsciousness :) But all the well I guess. The world can do with one less frustrated person.
(however talented!)

Canada

It's beautiful. The streets are beautiful. The trees are beautiful. I went for a walk one morning.
Warm sun on the back, and cool breeze on the face. The skies were golden-pink, and moving. Everything looked lovely. The clean roads, the dewy grass, the empty bus-stops with water trickling down the glass..
I thought, no wonder you see people kissing everywhere. The potential for romance is just unbelievable.
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I like drinking out of the tap. SO accessible. And God's gift for someone like my mom who can only have warm water.
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I'm definitely having more bread than I need carbs. And more butter than I need fat... umm, some might disagree :)
Fruits are AWESOME! Really really.. incomparable in taste, variety, quality, even size. sigh :)
Oh! had Acai-Xtreme.. couldn't manage to explain the significance of acai to dear family.
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On the subject of dear ol' family, the wedding went well. Drinks and DJ at the reception.. Very fancy, complete with backless-blouses and men-in-tuxes ;)
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Fell in love :) Cousin from the UK; 5'11"; hilarious; playful; kind; smart; funny. Wish I'd known her when we were kids.
She's taught me this card game 'Split', it's officially my fav now. Yes, more than poker :|
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Temples here are a farce. It's like an auditorium with statues of God in a simulated Gopuram. It's said the science of building temples has been lost in India; here it's just science, no temples.
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Will be traveling from tomorrow. And what that means most, is no Internet :(
Everybody just wants to shop.. and stay warm. I feel like sulking.
I'm going to run away with my Lonely Planet guide.
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cool breeze blowing, music playing, sitting.
sitting, feeling, thinking, writing.
feeling a deep sense of loss.
thinking how funny the human is.

nice weather.. I'm not unhappy. I wonder where optimism comes from?

My Life Is Average- homage

There was no power last night. I slept with a Mortein burning fumes, and a wet towel over myself. I still got bitten by mosquitos. MLIA.

Gitanjali went home to give the electricity bill receipt to the watchman in the morning, he showed it to the electricity guy who came home at noon, and Af moved in and started unpacking at home in the afternoon, but there was still no power. Our lives are pretty average. :P


I was supposed to go partying tonight, but then had to go home and talk to watchman about powercut. MLIA.

I spoke to the watchman, packed some clothes, and started out for the party. I then got a call from dad saying he was coming home with a cupboard he had ordered for my room. MLIA.


I went home, switched on the cooler and plonked down on the bed, happy to have cool mosquito-free air. But the cooler started smelling, and I had to get up and open tap and fill water in it. MLIA.


I was glad my flatmate and her boyfriend weren't home when my dad came over, but he suspected something when she wasn't home by 10:30 PM when he left. I'm not sure what he suspected. MLIA.

My dad gave me 500 bucks to go have dinner. I was happy, I needed some cash. I called up Macha and we went and had subs and icecream. I was left with a total of 5 rupees. MLIA.


I came back and the cupboard was almost done. Then I heard a dripping sound and had a sinking feeling. Yes, the water in the cooler had overflowed. MLIA.


The cupboard totally took 2 hrs to set-up. The guy who did it was sulking because he wouldn't get a bus home. My dad was staring sternly at him because he wasn't doing a good job. I didn't know what to do, so I sat down and blogged. MLIA.

trifles-
the emoticon, :|
the website, http://mylifeisaverage.com/

mebbe it'll pass..

This is one of those days.. when I wish I still had a secret blog (no I don't want to start one again). I wish I could just type without thinking. think without censoring.
I wish I could enjoy being alone. happy. free, of tiresome worries, haunting memories. free of compulsive restless wanting to run away. go somewhere. do something. be someone.
I wish I had courage. to look into myself and see what I truly want. to untangle the mess of confusion carefully weaved around in my mind. to see clearly. to make decisions. to stick to decisions. to act. no, I'm too afraid.
I wish I was in last year. where all of the above were wishes granted.

JLT

Sunday: went to Guntur. surprisingly non-sunny, windy, balmy weather. unexpectedly, refreshingly, the most unique-single-day I've had in a while..

Monday:  mom came in the afternoon :) brownies and ice-cream came in the evening. 

Tuesday: finally, tried my hand at cutting a boy's hair. yes! me and Manasa gave Ro a haircut :)

(I could post before-after photus, except I don't have any) 

Bumma cooked, pulao.

Prash came, said something, slept.

Wednesday: Raghu's b'day(cake) :) again, no photo :( 

started karate! I love Google. I love Karate. I love Yoga. abs like flat stone, Zareer says :) (when clenched, ofcourse)

had extremely filling chole-bature at Punjab kee Rasoi. dinner with Bumma and Gitanjali, hopefully not our last :( and then.. the much hyped "awesome mango juice cold with crushed ice and with delicious mango pieces on top". sigh. all people in/around/ moving-to Kondapur must definitely try it (it's right in front of 'Kakes n Krisps' (ridiculous (never thought I'd ever have to actually write it/spell it/mention it) name) bakery) 

Thursday: mostly everybody left. 

(Spandy's trekked to the Himalayas. and tented. 18 kms and 3000 some hundred metres high)

more Karate. more of Bumma's food :D

Friday: Good day. (Goodbye)

no strings

I'm going in loops

big circular hoops

up and down 

and down and up

At a point

right at the top

I can see clear

ah what ease!

and how right it feels

to totally relax

and to be intense

to be still

and yet, explode.

this is life

haha.. at the top

is ufortunately 

but a brief stop :)

just when I'm ready

all nice and comfy

yes, that is what 

I do wrong.

to try and settle down.

I no longer relax

but instead, become lax

careless and lazy

slack, slothful, drowsy

everything slows.

oh no!

I panic

I can't let go

try hard, harder

I can be intense!

just like before.

and I manage very well

to become tense

queasy and fidgety

stressed, uneasy, edgy.

what do I do!?

at the bottom

it's again clear

I can look

without any fear

'coz after all,

can't really go down

any further :P

here, I think.

Reflect.

how I've been stupid

how it could've been avoided

(all which I eventually,

anyway forget).

I like the journey up

a beginning, a new start

promise of discipline

and remaining smart

of being true

and being free

making good use

of mind and body

on the way up

it's incredibly easy

to not say no

to set no limits

to be curious

to laugh, to love

to learn, explore

to do a million things

it's really easy 

when you start from zero.

and at the top

I must remember

what I want.

I need a reminder

to break the loop

yes, this time

I will the do.